Reflections on 42

ok another year

Last week I turned 43. I decided to jot down some various notes/things that pertained to 42 though lets be real and face that the pandemic was the real star of my 42nd year. Unlike a lot of people though, I did not think my life was wasted by sitting at home. Sure I would have liked to travel more, have fun nights out, see more people, but if I am to be entirely honest my life did not shift that much. Maybe it was harder on my psyche more than anything. But my lifestyle was pretty intact especially given ages 40 and 41 were spent largely bedridden. Anyway, I had a great birthday. My two nearby friends, a beloved couple that lives nearby, decided to join me—they are the only other people I have seen all pandemic. We all went to a local park to get tested and got out results in 24 hours. So we booked a hotel room for a fun slumber party. I chose the very mod campy TWA Hotel at JFK, which is just 15 min away. It was weirdly so cheap to stay there overnight for all of us. And so we shacked up and ate cheeseburgers and fries and drank a million Campari cocktails and had cake (I made my own: I really needed to try out a recipe for earl grey olive oil cake with cardamom buttercream frosting that I had dreamed up). I slept over 10 hours that night. It was very fun—I recommend a pandemic gathering like this if you can. Otherwise everything else was the usual nothing of the pandemic and life goes on.

Some things that defined my year:

book/authors: Fleur Jaeggy, Mieko Kawakami, Rachel Cusk, Kevin Kwan’s Crazy Rich Asians trilogy

sounds: k-pop (BTS, Blackpink, Red Velvet, Monsta X, NCT, SuperM, Exo), oldies with ocean sounds youtube channel

trips: going to Europe just before the pandemic: long walks in the Marais, shopping for tea and macarons. train rides, London to Edinburgh, London to Paris and back. Combe weekend. seeing Stonehenge from the car, Grenfell tower draped. Eton mess. cardamom buns in bethnal green. scones & clotted cream. trying to find perfect tartan scarf in Edinburgh

outings: walks down Yellowstone Road with Cosmo, summer beach days, autumn hikes, holiday walks through city

foods: Persian ashes reshteh delivery, cream soda, blue tea, butter coffee, olive oil cakes, homemade ginger carrot miso sesame dressing. steamed artichokes, roasted acorn squash, yucca fries, ghormeh sabzi, kookoo sabzi, oatmeal stouts and winter ales and chocolate porters, persimmons, thumbprint cookies, homemade rose jam, lemon kombucha, delivery frozen margaritas, delivery spicy dry pot, soup dumplings, shallot yogurt and potato chips, Canadian ketchup chips, korean honey butter chips and sweet corn chips, Chinese white rabbit milk candies, chocolate mint xylitol gum, honeycomb, chocolate covered espresso beans for deadlines

herbs: cat’s claw, Japanese knotweed, andrographis, black cumin seed oil, aloe, circumin, mimosa pudica, cistus icanus tea, propolis

looks: platinum blonde hair with occasional adventures in color washes, mint and pink and light blue and lavender, wonderblade lipstick for mask wearing, glasses chains, jade rings, hot pink clogs, black loafer slides, white FILA sneakers, red leather pumps, pink faux fur slippers, neon tights, brown sweaters, pink eyeshadow, black and brown lipsticks

surprises: back in touch with best ex, brother, a few stray friends, insomnia cured

career stuff: Brown Album coming out! book 4! ghostwriting. screenwriting ideas. new novel

hobbies: botanical drawing, endless baking

exercises: The Class classes, tiktok dances

objects: silk pillowcase, weighted blanket, exercise bike, FeetUp trainer, new yoga mat, wood block, Mason Pearson pocket brush (a Bigelow gift certificate!), vitamin c serum, Benadryl, high dose melatonin in gummy form, Himalayan sea salt light bulbs, Swedish sea salt soap, custom press-on nails (in sea glass, gold tip red, clear with paint strokes), crystals, paper marigolds